As I write this, Smitty is driving a windy and bumpy road in Newfoundland, and I am in the middle seat behind Ra in a big YUKON truck. Great truck, but no leg room, and Ra just put the back of his seat back a bit, to get some sleep, and this powerbook got tilted up, but I am not going to hassle the good man.
We were up late last night after the gig. It was Smitty’s idea for us to crash Nazareth’s dressing room, and we all had a SERIOUS brotherhood session of stories and laughs. More laughing than talking, really. The thing is with Nazareth is that if you are willing to listen, they will tell stories forever and answer any question. They have had a lot of wild years on the road. They are getting to know us a lot better now, and we have a decent mutual respect thing going, which is good for 2 bands that have an 8-day double bill tour. I really like those guys a lot. Totally heavy Scottish accents, so even if I did try to transcribe some stories, I would have to miss out the parts that I didn’t understand.
Smitty is driving really fast right now, because this is a 575km haul and we are on early. We will hit the hotel, hit the stage and continue this portable party. Now we’re passing a logging truck that has small logs loaded sideways (this freaked me out the first time I saw that). Frankie is feeling better, no more barfing, we stopped for bananas at a grocery store, I gotta take a wizzzzzz, let’s start at the beginning………..
Where did we leave off? Dunno.
We played a gig in Saskatchewan for a University for about 4000 of the most drunk students that I have ever seen. You have to just PLOW your way through the set, keep their attention and not let them take over. My keyboard solo was as Ra said “like Stevie Wonder on Acid.” You just gotta keep it moving. Then, we did an AA convention in the lower mainland BC.
We had quite a bit of time off. I got to demo out several handfuls of Joyride! CDs and I got a start at the renovation of the Protection Island cabin. In fact, I didn’t take a break for at least a month from working quite hard before this road trip. I did actual physical labour, digging holes for the foundation and being a second man to our main hired master carpenter Tony Thompson. I sometimes go about things the hard way, and we imported every grain of sand and rock for our 12 footings in 5 gallon buckets. That is almost 200 buckets, and they weigh about 50 to 100 pounds each. That is a lot of stuff to shovel into your car, bring to the dock, carry down the dock, onto a boat, off of the boat, up a dock, onto a truck, off of the truck, across the yard and into the cement mixer. But I did it!
I was sore every day.
It was wake up, canoe over, work all day, go home, eat, sleep, wake up and work. No weekends off, just keep going. It was nice out the whole time, and one 30 degree day, I spent under the floor hacking through an old growth fir stump down to rock so we could put a footing there. It took 3 days to dig that hole, and one day a guy that I know dropped by in his fancy outfit and told me how easy my work is, and that he has dug through way harder stuff. YAK YAK, go away.
Tracy and I both agreed that if it aint fun, we aint doin’ it, but I had to break that rule a few times, or break the bank and hire some big ass machines. Nicer when you can do it yourself anyway. Makes it your own place that step further.
And I got in a little better physical shape because of this, I think.
We used 10 jacks (borrowed bottle backs and whatever I could find) and lifted the building 13 inches. Very scary stuff!! We removed the old floor, built the foundation, new floor and lowered the building one inch. This is one SOLID cabin now, I tell you! IT is 16’ by 20’ and old enough to be legal, because it is older than the building code.
The neighbor across the street let us use his electricity and water, and any of his tools, which is quite nice, because he has the best model of everything. And, someone (with nothing better to do) phoned the city to complain about the cable that I had going across the road for a few hours every day to run our tools. About 5 golf carts and one pick up truck use this road every day. I could probably figure out who ratted me out, and beat them up. J
Our newly planted lawn has come up beautifully, and our new neighbor, (a scientist who develops fuel cells) has offered to teach us about native plant life so we won’t weed out the natural flowers. Gulf Island people are funny that way. I think we will fit in nicely.
Our block on the Island is pretty much the eccentric part of town. You have:
1) Mr. Scientist, Native-Plant-fanatic
2) The old guy who has lived in a swamp lot since 1966. Drives the ferry and cross-dresses in his garden.
3) A Cellist and a Piano technician whose entire wedding party got nude and jumped in the ocean.
4) The blind family of bagpipe player (and total geniuses http://www.braillebookstore.com/marvelsoft.htm built by two blind teenagers, and they are making $$$$$$)
5) The nice guy who lends us all his tools, truck, water and electricity.
6) A millionaire retired guy
7) Us
Other blocks have more working people, who have an excellent bathtub racing team.
And others blocks have rich older people with really nice yards, including the stretch of ocean where http://www.rickscott.ca/ lives.
I worked on our new foundation and floor right up until, and including the day we left to go on tour. There was a lot to do, in keeping organized and having the site cleaned up before I left. I didn’t want to come back to a construction zone, and I think I earned some respect form the local Islanders for committing to such a project. I did get 2 ocean swims in before I left, which gives me extra nice stuff to dream about when I am away.
W19 CAMBRIDGE ONTARIO
Scott’s sister picked Scott and I up at the ferry terminal and drove us out to a hotel. We left Vancouver Island the night before, so we could catch this early flight. Great, easy flight out. We hung out at the airport for awhile when we arrived, waiting for van rental stuff to get set up. There was a maze of scaffolds and stairs surrounding a new part of the airport, and a parade of working guys going up and down the stairs. Frankie and I improvised a rock opera about WORK, including a tragic bit about non-safety issues.
Ok, I am not in BC anymore.
I am in a hotel beside a really busy highway, and Frankie tells me that there is a town about an hour walk down the road. It is a sunny day and I have all day to spend anywhere, including outside of the hotel room, so I take my shirt off and go for a walk, having a choice of two different directions: up or down the highway.
Hundreds of cars wiz by and soon enough a crew-cut male in his early 20 yells “you’d better put your shirt on” from his passenger seat. A few blocks later a different passenger who looked the same as the first yells something similar, but he went for volume rather than annunciation. The third guy (who also looked the same) yelled “THAT’S DISGUSTING!”
You know, it is actually legal for both males and females to go topless in public in Ontario, but nobody ever does.
In BC, it is no big deal to not wear a shirt.
We spent three days in Cambridge. I did make it into the actual town one day and saw a nice water and stone bridge set-up. The rest of the time I stayed pretty close to the hotel and read a book that I borrowed off of a friend The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Wicca and Witchcraft. I find the Idiot’s guides to be more comprehensive, and fun, than other how-to books, and this one covered a very much misunderstood topic quite eloquently.
In case any one is interested, Wicca is a registered religion that deals with respect of nature and the worship of a God and a goddess equally. True Wicca, and Witchcraft, have never involved a DEVIL; that being a Christian concept. I found the book quite fascinating. It made a lot of sense, but it would be quite difficult for many people to participate in, because you would have to be seriously responsible about your actions towards the physical and spiritual universe. You can not break a flower off of a tree without giving back to nature. Murdering people is definitely out.
The only people that I have ever known to be into Wicca are all women. I always wondered why they are not all powerful, rich or slim as many people would be who could use the power of the universe to make real change. The answer (I guess) is that material and vanity issues are not really in keeping of a person who has the will and inner connection to be able to pull of magik. Also, there is such a serious code of secrecy behind this kind of stuff, that they wouldn’t let you know if their spells work or not. As soon as you brag, you have ruined it.
Also, the law of KARMA states that everything you do will come back to you threefold, so forget about putting a spell on anyone against their freewill.
Anyway, the Cambridge concert goers were in full force, really nice, and Scott and I got midnight salads from the venue restaurant after every show. There was a cancellation on a Hamilton gig, so we got to have 3 midnight salads. It was a nice way to start a tour. Certainly relaxing, which is good, because I was still sore from the full month of physical work I endured (without a day off) before I left.
I guess I am in the best physical shape that I have been in for years, which is nice. I fatted-out a bit over the winter when my dad died, and I slugged out in my studio a lot as well. Now, the red Italian pants that I almost passed up on buying (because they were too small) at the WINNERS store in Regina last year are now all loose. I am going to try not to be too much of a food pig on this tour, read a lot, clear my mind and be happy. EASY.
We made friends with a great cowboy blues singer Larry Bario (from Ontario) backstage and we had a lot of laughs. He is a great harmonica guy, and his band is really cool, so we had a good gang to hang out with for a few days. The staff of the venue were all totally cool people as well, and we had a decent 3 day relationship with a serious lot of wonderful people who all like each other.
Sometimes we trooper guys have extreme mass laughing fits over stuff that probably isn’t as funny as I think it is. We almost died talking about the concept of getting transferred electrical shocks by peeing on an electrical fence, and can you get diseases that way from unclean toilets (?). You had to be there, but I always believe that a good hysterical laugh is healthy no matter what the topic.
We also had a decent laughing fit session in the van on the first drive. It is easy to get Frankie going. I was talking about something I remember from being a kid on the Island and a BC Ferry crashing into a Russian freighter. Frankie suggested his defense in court as “He was having a GOOD TIME, people!” and this set everyone off about the two ships colliding and one guy throws the rope to the other ship and they all get aboard and have vodka and the defense attorney saying, “ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do you REALLY want to be responsible for crushing this man’s vibe?” Funny stuff in the van, goes on for hours.
S22 OTTAWA
My old buddy Creighton lives a block away from our fabulous luxury hotel suites, downtown Ottawa. We walked around, put some Protection Island friends’ names on the guest list at the site, snacked out at the HARD ROCK CAFÉ (thanks to the promoter) and got to be a part of the entire staff singing and doing the actions for YMCA. I had the best salad in town. We went to the National art gallery, admired the CLOSED sign, got ready for the gig, turned on my video camera and captured an insane roar when we hit the stage. I was told there were 7000 people there, outdoors, with the Parliament building towering above. Now, this is a great start to an Eastern Canadian tour. The gig could not have been more perfect, and no band could wish for a more positive response. Even the snide review in the newspaper couldn’t deny that.
I had a cousin and her husband at the show. Great people , the same age as me, who have been together since I had first visited them in 1980. I had a bunch of cousins and related family people up at their cottage (actually a big house on a Sharbott lake, with guest cabins) but it didn’t work out that I would visit this time.
Our new merch guy (Craig) has never been out East before. He was AMAZED at Ottawa; what a hip city full of wildly interesting stuff.
Ra paid for a cab for Scott, Frankie and I to join him at the National gallery the next day, when it was open, and YES we finally got Scott into an art gallery. Lucky for him this one rivals BIG city galleries with stuff from 1200 onward. I mildly wept at Van Gough’s Irisis, and smiled at the Chagalls and Mondian pieces. We ran out of time, but everyone had a gas with this. Scott dug it. The admission is free, so I said that I would pay for that.
S23 ORILLIA
395 kms to a night club gig. Easy drives. The place was packed and Ra’s mic clip broke during Frankie’s up-stage solo. I had Ra’s mic stuck in a bucket and the clip broke. After the show, our soundman and road manager (also Mike) wasn’t very happy about that.
Scott met a 20-year-old guy at the T-Shirt booth who actually grew up on Protection Island. I invited him backstage, and he knew EVERYONE on the Island, and I told him about just meeting his dad by the new stairs a week earlier. He lived in the house with the HUGE boat in the yard. I gave him a P.I. map as a present and he said that that cured his recent homesickness. I met the girl that he wants to marry and bring back to the Island to have kids with. Neat hey? His kids will babysit mine, or the other way around. We will see, I guess.
M24 KINGSTON
Three days off. Scott golfs everyday, which is better than having it going on the hotel TV all day. He is really good at this, you know, and has his bass guitar case rigged-up to hold his favorite club. He golfs with whoever he meets, and was turned onto the BEST Cambodian restaurant in town (the original guy from the WOK INN runs it).
I am now reentering the land of the living, not being so sore from being such a spazzy working man last month. I did over do it a bit, I guess, but we got it built, didn’t we? I am starting to jog again and everywhere I go, I see one of Mike’s amazing Inukshuks. That is his Zen thing.
Kingston has the great old stone mansions, some bums sleeping on the waterfront who weren’t there before, and I bought a great new fake tilly hat for boating. I tried every type of boating hat and went for the one that keeps the sun off. I really should wear SOMETHING this summer. Scott went back to a store 3 times to return a $3 T-shirt until it was perfect. The clerk thought he was hilarious. Ra treated everyone to the best new Cambodian lunch to celebrate a successful few days off. I read a lot, didn’t get bored, planned on thinking of house designs but ended up planning camping locations for our time off at home this summer. There are still some places to go where there is NOBODY, and the swimming is decent. The swimmers are indecent, and proud of it.
T27 MONTREAL QUEBEC
Short drive to Montreal for the third day off. Ra brought everyone into town and treated us to a real honest to God traditional Hebrew deli. Craig asked for mayonnaise and the waiter circled the word HEBREW on the menu in response. It was funny. We went to some Irish Pubs, nice people, I walked around, saw a jazz band and drove everyone back to the hotel. I had to stop on a service road for everyone to have a wiz and for Scott to swing his golf club.
By the time we got back to the hotel, Frankie was lying on the floor of the lobby loading his sore ass where Scott had whacked him with the club.
I love Montreal. Very musical and artsy people abound. The gig was a fine sell-out and we played well. Ok, I remember, there was a really excited opening act guy that we really liked, and a happy club owner, and a strange old dude who opened the Vodka and asked Ra to make him another drink. We were backstage just a weee bit too long.
I finally met a man who is into Wicca (I could tell by his pentagram around his neck). I tried to talk to him about it, but he offered that he could get me guns and listed a bunch of available models) and also ESCORTS and what they could do for $150. I said “gross!” A bit disappointing, but I suspect that he is not being true to the Wiccan Rite.
F28 KINGSTON ONTARIO
We did a huge concert gig in Kingston, the best one I have ever experienced with this group.
Good snacks backstage. I am trying to not be such a pig anymore, but I did gross out on a huge bag of chips. We met Laura Hampshire and her friend, and we had to play our show, otherwise I could have chatted with these cool gals for a long time. They were lots of fun and great singers. We sang Day Time, Night time (walking down the street everyone I meet says she’s fine) which was make famous by her Dad Keith Hampshire in the ‘70s. I loved that song when I was a kid, and when we were given a new CD of it, we got to play it in the van, and yes, it was in the same key that I remembered it to be. Funny how you remember things like that.
I had a great long talk with Tracy on the phone after the gig and sang DAY TIME, NIGHT TIME to her, which got billed to Smitty by mistake of the really nice front desk people, drag but what are you gonna do? Tracy and I talked about interior cabin design stuff, which I have yet to think about, and I suggested good camping places. We have lots of fun.
I bought a Zodiac boat recently (well, SEVOLOR, same company) and I still haven’t put it’s 9.9 Evinrude onto it yet, but when I get home, I will have the engine all cleaned-up and go to SNAKE ISLAND, which is a bird sanctuary with a huge beach. On high tide most of the beach is gone, so it will be warm swimming when the tide rolls in over the hot sand. I have never seen anyone on Snake Island., but I did camp there years ago, and when I got out of the tent, the hundreds of seals on the beach all scattered.
Anyway, Frankie said that he had a shower and saw a huge bruise on his butt in the mirror. He will be OK. I did my hotel sink laundry (I like the hot water) and tried to dry 2 T-shirts on the air conditioner, but they froze. Also, the big bottle of Nanaimo city water that I had brought with me is now all gone, so I am officially on the road.
I stayed up late with Smitty and Frankie in the crew room telling stories and they had the biggest pizza in the world. Wait, wrong town…………that was somewhere else……